| i just wanna be me and not think about healing or anything.
i'm tired. i've lost faith.
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| I haven't blogged in awhile but here goes..
I'm starting to think fighting is healthy which is quite strange considering how much of passive aggressive person I am.
Anyway, I've been fighting, angry, and rebelling against God as of late. I'm finally slllloooowwwly inching around to talking to Him and giving Him permission to address those areas but I'm still nonetheless very angry.
You know, fighting with God is important, its one of the few times when one gets to reveal what is really going on in their heart and if God never gets to see that, how can He even address it? He can't remedy to problem or go to the actual root issue. And many times, God will offend us, so we'll engage in conversation with Him so that He can heal that area and give us a breakthrough.
I guess He's brilliant like that.
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| i don't know about the rest of the song.. its rather too "perky" for me.. but i definitely always felt this part..
there's a place that i go
where nobody knows
where the rivers flow
and I call it home
- natasha bedingfield
mhhhmm... home.
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| is it natural for people to think about God?
as sad as it may be.. i want to say no... its strange that if were made to worship, made for relationship and all these things with God, that we being "his people" don't naturally think about him.
and because we naturally don't think about him, it just seems easy to not follow... but the strange thing is.. we all crave some type of need that God provides..
the irony of it all is.. even though we don't naturally think about him.. all of us look for him somehow.. did you know.. the number one search phrase of this year was..
"who is God?"
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| there was this quote in the movie "call and response" .. it goes something like..
music offends the heart without your permission.. i'm totally butchering the quote..
anyway.. that's why i love worship SO MUCH... when nothing else makes sense.. and nothing else sinks in.. sometimes there's just one verse of some song that expresses everything that you're feeling on a few lines of paper without diminishing any of your emotions.. and to be able to sing that type of release.. eases my heart a bit more..
and what was said to the rose
to make it unfold
was said to me here in my chest
so be quiet now and rest
- david crowder (here is our king)
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